7. Admire your child—a lot!

As with any major challenge in your child’s life, self-esteem will help. In fact, a major study at Arizona State University in the early 1990s found that the most important topic to address in parents’ divorce classes was the need for parents’ open admiration of their children.

See 8 Admiration Skills Parents Can Use to Protect Their Children:

  • Showing gratitude just for the chance to have your child. “Everything is better when I get to do something with you.”
  • Admiring particular special qualities in your child. “I love how you watch out for your little brother and sister. You're so kind.”
  • Admiring something your child did. “Fantastic! Can you show me how you did that?”
  • Letting your child hear the good things you say about him to others. “I'm glad to hear she did so well in your class—she's special at home, too.”
  • Physical demonstrations of affection. A big hug—especially on meeting or parting. Being totally there when you’re together. “Wow, you need to tell that story again!”
  • Complimenting what your child gets from the other parent. “Wow! I think you are going to be a track star, just like Mommy was.”
  • Assembling a team of at least six adults to admire your child.
    • Show Extra Tip
    • Remember that your children are already suffering due to the family's circumstances. Then ask yourself whether you think discourtesy between their parents should be added to their burdens.
    • Think about all the hurt your children won't have to carry because of the courtesy you will be using.
    • Always remember that your relationship with your co-parent is your children's most powerful lesson in how adults solve problems.

    “Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.”

    —Richard Evans